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by Rix Quinn

     Seriously, it’s so hot right now even my eyebrows sweat. With this much heat I worry about smelling bad.

     Body odor comes in all shapes and sizes, from all directions. The first culprit can be bad breath.

     Some experts recommend tooth brushing twice a day, and flossing. Some also recommend using a tongue scraper, but never in the middle of a party, especially if one is serving finger food.

     To check your own breath, lick the back of your freshly washed hand, wait for the saliva to evaporate, then sniff it. I can report that my breath right now smells much like yesterday’s socks.

     Long ago, ancient people experimented with several underarm deodorants, including cinnamon and citrus. Then cannibals moved nearby, and found the smell so irresistible they originated the expression “Let’s have the neighbors over for dinner.”

     In modern days, dedicated scientists tested underarm sweat. They discovered fresh sweat was odorless, but if stored several hours it became offensive.

     So, I guess the answer here is, never store underarm sweat.

     Finally, I leave you with the immortal words of my old uncle, who said, “If your nose runs, and your feet smell, you’re built upside down.”

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