Rix Quinn – My average face

Published 10:30 am Sunday, October 16, 2022

I got a sales call the other day, and the recorded voice put me on hold. — Quinn Quacks

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Rix Quinn – My average face

     Have you ever been told you look like somebody famous?

     A couple years ago, several friends and I sat around a lunch table, and tried to judge who our companions resembled. My friend Jim said, “Quinn, you just have a generic face.

     “That’s not an insult,” he added. “You look like somebody everybody knows, but whose name they can’t remember.”

     Jim was right. As I surveyed our group, I quickly identified people who looked sorta like presidents, or movie stars, or astronauts, or comedians.

     But, I look like the guy you see at the mall, but you can’t remember which store I work for. Or, I resemble a teacher you liked in high school, or somebody you see downtown in the coffee shop.

     Sometimes I’m grateful for my average face. When I was in my 20s, it was a real money-saver. How?

     In my town are two seminaries, where folks train to be ministers. I’ve had many jobs in my life, but preacher is definitely not one.

     However, for a few years, one restaurant recognized me as a young, bright seminarian. Whenever I went there, they greeted me warmly, and ask how I was doing in my studies.

     I told the cashiers they had me mixed up with an actual preacher, but they didn’t believe me. They frequently gave me free soft drinks, or a complimentary meal.

     I have wondered whatever happened to that young preacher who looked like me. Did he eat free as often as I did?

     I often took my first dates to that generous restaurant. If that date didn’t like me, I hadn’t spent much money on her.

     Sadly, my face aged out of the eager young student look, and I began to resemble somebody’s cousin. I became the guy you think you’ve seen at a family reunion, but you are not sure what branch of the family.

     My face is slowly sagging into that of a kindly uncle, one who tells funny stories and is welcome everywhere.

     Which means that pretty soon, people may think they actually know me…and I can maybe get offered some free meals again!

    Got a story idea for Rix? E-mail him at rix@rixquinn.com.