Rix Quinn – Working at home

Published 11:00 am Sunday, April 17, 2022

by Rix Quinn

     Luckily, I’ve got a little home office. It’s a place I can go sleep after my morning coffee.

     On Monday I had lots of time on my hands, so I took an online test to gauge my maturity level. It said I was “childish, obnoxious, and apathetic.” It said some other stuff, but I didn’t care.

     I’ve also started cleaning out the attic. I found my old report cards from high school, along with notes that teachers sent home.

     I had forgotten that I once got in trouble for “releasing small rodents during a school assembly.” That accusation was unfair. My hamsters would never harm anybody.

     One afternoon, I sat on our front porch to watch the world pass by. I waved to everyone.

     If somebody didn’t wave back, I blew my duck call. Some people react poorly to weird noises.

     Because I spend so much time in the house, I actually enjoy talking to telephone salesmen.

     Last month I bought a week’s vacation from a recorded message. I didn’t realize that until I received the package, and the reservation said it was for July 2019.

     I’ve never binge-watched so many old TV series, and I keep getting their plots confused. Last night I dreamed I was the sheriff in a Wild West town who drove a red convertible, possessed magical powers, and kept his talking horse at home.

     Also, I’ve been watching sports events. I’ve seen some current ones, plus some old ones from the 20th century. This week I saw two bowl games from the 1970s, a baseball playoff from the 1990s, and a track meet from the 1980s.

     I recorded the 100-yard dash, then played it backwards. Now, that’s what you call a true rerun.

     Got a subject you’d like Rix to talk about? E-mail him at rix@rixquinn.com