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Quinn: Flaky School Lessons

At lunch a few weeks ago an old friend asked, “What lessons did you learn from your school years?” Well, here are ten that stuck to me like glue.

  1. Bells rule our life. The last high school bell, for instance, alerts us that we need to prepare for a career. Every year when the birthday bell rings, we’re reminded that time moves faster than a cheetah on a treadmill.
  2. Don’t eat off your friend’s plate until he tells you it’s OK. In elementary school I supplemented many lunches with somebody else’s dinner rolls.
  3. Getting picked first on another student’s team means that the person recognizes your skill. Getting picked last means you should explore some of your other gifts.
  4. Everyone can contribute. The tallest guy may be your basketball star. The smartest girl might be the school’s spelling champion. (My special gift: Teachers could point to me as a bad example.)
  5. Never throw food. That’s true in the elementary lunchroom, at the senior prom, and for nearly all weddings.
  6. Hold your tongue. (Not literally, of course, because it might get drool on your hand.) We learn quickly that if we make a silly or unkind statement, we can’t take it back.
  7. You win a few, you lose a few, and you get disqualified if you forget to show up. Therefore, an alarm clock makes a great graduation gift.
  8. Teachers are some of the greatest people you’ll ever know.
  9. Everybody needs a coach. Find older people whose skills you admire, and ask how they acquired them.
  10. Life is not high school. Move on. (That’s a good thing, because if life were a geometry class, I’d never figure out the angles.)

Rix Quinn is a humorist and columnist.  You can ask Rix anything…the weirder, the better. E-mail your questions to rix@rixquinn.com.