By LEONARD GRAY

The summer movie madness is upon us, and the major studios are bombarding us with previews and advertisements for a host of big-budget films. Already, two of the major opening days are past, Memorial Day and Fourth of July. We still have the Labor Day openings to hit us. However, there’s still a few major movies on the immediate horizon.

People who know my tastes will understand why I’m looking forward to “Men in Black II” and “Reign of Fire.” I’m also looking forward to seeing “Road to Perdition.”

But most movie plots have their own hilarious rules –

Every woman running from a bad guy trips and falls.

Every hero never runs out of ammunition.

When anyone is knocked out, they never suffer brain damage, but they almost always get amnesia.

The villain’s first shot always misses.

The police always seem to miss out on major fire-fights in urban areas.

When the hero strips to the waist, nothing can stop him.

The hero can take a refrigerator to the head and only get a trickle of blood on one side of his forehead.

Water never causes a gun to jam.

Like I said, these are things I love spotting.

LEONARD GRAY is assistant managing editor of L’Observateur. He may be reached at (985) 652-9545.