DAZED AND CONFUSED

Published 12:00 am Wednesday, March 29, 2000

Lee Dresselhaus / L’Observateur / March 29, 2000

So….once again I find myself in the odd position of speaking out to defendsomeone I really don’t like.

And if that’s not strange enough, I’ll be defending this person for saying something that I don’t agree with.

Who can this person be? Is it David Duke, former Imperial Lizard, er, Wizard of the KKK? Nope. I’ve already written a column defending his rightto say the things he says and I’ve made it perfectly clear that I detest the type of dead-fish smelling rhetoric he sprays around like Pepe LePew. Buthe has the right to spray it, er, say it. So, it’s not him this time. Is it Al Sharpton, master manipulator and self-promoter extraodinaire? Nope. My disdain for that idiot and for the sycophantic press that lets himget away with the greatest con game since The Sting knows no bounds.

But, like Duke, he has the right to say what he says, as distasteful as his ongoing con game is. Of course, the transparency of his hypocrisy makesWaterford crystal look about as clear as mud, but that’s another story.

No, unfortunately, I’m finding myself in the awkward position of defending the Queen of the Demagogues, Dr. Laura Schlessinger.Dr. Laura, as she’s affectionately known by her legions of neurotic fans,has committed the cardinal sin of stepping outside the boundaries of political correctness, and now the PC Nazis want her stopped. And justwhat has she done to deserve the heel of the PC Nazi jackboots coming down on her? She had the gall, the nerve, to come out and express the opinion that being gay was a “biological error” and she called it “deviant.”Well, slap my face and call me Sally.

And now gay and lesbian groups are up in arms and they are demanding Dr.

Laura’s head on a platter. The vehemence of their protests has reachedsuch a strident note that Dr. Laura was forced to cancel a scheduled April15 birthday party and fund raiser in Detroit out of concern for the safety of the guests.

Let me back up just a bit here. I don’t care for Dr. Laura all that much,mainly because she, like so many others who are full of wisdom and advice, is a hypocrite with a good rap. She pontificates about marriage,but is divorced. She pontificates about morals, but posed nude for a formerboyfriend. Those photos supposedly went public by the way, but I couldn’tbring myself to look them up. Not that I have any problems looking at nudewomen. I don’t because, well, I’m a pig. I admit it. But they were picturesof Dr. Laura. Yeesh. Even a pig has standards.But the remark she made about gays being deviant and a biological error is now being called “anti-gay rhetoric” by members of the Triangle Foundation, a gay rights group.

I have a question for them.

How come the very people who have benefited the most from the right to free speech, to freedom of expression, to freedom of choice, are the ones who cannot and will not tolerate it in others when the opinion or view of that person does not fit neatly in with their stated views? What happened? When did it become all right for you to express your opinions, make your demands, and preach your doctrine, but it became wrong for anyone to disagree with you? Let me say this to you Triangle People. I don’t care what you do in theprivacy of your own home, and that goes for anyone out there, gay, straight, or indifferent. As long as it involves other consenting adults Idon’t care if your partner is the same sex or a piece of farm machinery. Ifit doesn’t involve children it’s flat out not my business. But the key tothat whole statement was this: In the privacy of your own home. So, whenyou bring your sexuality out into the open and begin to espouse your lifestyle as a doctrine for all to see, don’t grouse when someone expresses a different opinion. If a straight couple feels frisky and want todress up as Little Bo Peep and the Mad Monk and play adult games, that’s their business as well. But if they go around telling everyone what theydo, they shouldn’t be surprised when someone else says how weird they think that is.

So, why are you Triangle People so dismayed? Now, I have no doubt that this will make someone out there very mad, and someone may even call it “anti-gay rhetoric”, but get this. Like I said, gofor it. It’s your private choice, and nobody’s business but yours and yourpartner’s. But if you try to tell other people that what you do is normaland they think it’s not, don’t be offended. They have the right to theiropinion the same as you have the right to yours. Get it? So, go ahead, have a gay old time. No pun intended. But bear in mind thatyou are the direct beneficiaries of those rights I mentioned earlier. Thinktwice before denying them to others.

Even Dr. Laura, Queen of the Demagogues.

Lee Dresselhaus writes this column every Wednesday in L’Observateur.

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