By Harold Keller / L’Observateur / March 28, 1998

REVEALING THE SECRET TO BEING A GREAT LOVER

A few weeks ago, as I was driving on Airline Highway, I passed a car with a bumper sticker that read: “Sexy Senior Citizen.” I glanced at the driverand thought, “Poor fellow. I hope he’s not the owner of this car!” It’samazing how men go to any length to deceive themselves.

In that same week I was seated in a local fast-food restaurant and a middle-aged, overweight man entered with an old, faded T-shirt that read: “World’s Greatest Lover.” He could have been arrested and convicted, I’msure, for false advertising.

I was reminded of those two incidents last week as I was having coffee and talking with a group of men at a local restaurant. Two ladies werewithin hearing distance of the conversation but didn’t really take part.

The topic of conversation was President Clinton and the White House sex scandal. One man said that he couldn’t identify with what Clinton wasaccused of. “I’ve been married over 40 years,” he said proudly, “and Inever have and never will cheat on my wife.”Another man in the group said, “You ain’t no man!” and he laughed. Iimmediately said, “You’re wrong. He is a man. The trouble with most of usis that we don’t know what real men are made of.”I continued saying that when addressing a group of men, I sometimes ask the question, “Are there any great lovers in here?” With all the false pride that most men have, at least 90 percent in any group will raise their hands. I then ask, “Do any of you know the definition of a great lover?” Iwon’t mention some of the answers, but the bottom line is that never have I gotten the right answer.

The definition of a great lover is a man who can satisfy one woman all of her life, but more importantly, be satisfied by the same woman all of his life. With that, I said, “Most of you are disqualified.”I don’t know if any of the men in the group agreed with me, with the exception of the man who had been married and faithful for over 40 years, but I do know the two ladies, in silence, agreed with everything I said.

Men, maybe it’s time we quit being deceived by lustful pleasures and realize that being faithful in marriage is not a weakness, but a great strength.

Harold Keller is a regular columnist for L’Observateur.

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