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by Rix Quinn

     Hey, it’s the 2023 baseball season! I am told new rules have been added to speed up the game, but I’m not sure what they are. So, I won’t talk about those.

     For those who don’t know this sport, it requires a glove and a moving bat, but it’s got nothing to do with vampires.

     It takes place on a “diamond,” or four bases arranged in a square. There aren’t real diamonds involved, so players won’t get distracted by bright stones.

     The pitcher stands in the middle of the square, and aims his throw at one of the bases, called home plate. The catcher stands behind the plate to catch the ball.

     But next to the plate stands an offensive team member – the batter – who holds a giant wood stick. His job is to hit the ball in places defensive players are not. Confused yet?

     The pitcher’s job is to throw the ball in such a way that the batter misses it. So, he throws pitches called a fastball, curve, screwball, slider, or knuckleball. If he makes the ball too easy to hit, the offensive team will love him. However, his own team will not, and they will remove him from the game, and put in another pitcher.

     Some defensive team members stand next to the bases, while others stand elsewhere. Some might say they are “outstanding in their field.”  These players try to catch the ball hit by the batter.

     So, the batter hits the ball, and runs around the bases. If he touches all bases correctly, he scores a run. If he runs them randomly, he is considered “wacky,” and is also called out. After three offensive players are called out, the other team gets a chance to bat.

     One other thing…each team has a different uniform. That way the home team fans know which players to insult.

     I would still like to play baseball myself, but I was terrible at it. I asked one of my coaches what position I should play, and he recommended “left out.”

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