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  I’m often shocked to see dirty public bathrooms with phone numbers scribbled on the walls. Did you know that half those phones are disconnected?

     People have gone to the bathroom for thousands of years. Facilities will be needed as long as folks drink water, or take a long car trip.

     So why can’t we develop quality bathrooms that meet minimum national standards? Wouldn’t it be nice to go to a four-star restroom? (I’d like to see where they put the stars.)

     How about a national “Potty Policy?” Here are some basic requirements:

1. The room should be attractively decorated with plastic flowers, landscape prints, tasteful advertising or – in the case of graffiti – clean poetry.
2. Toilets should be mounted securely on walls, not hung by a rope from the ceiling.
3. Toilet stalls should not require paid entry. The stall doors should be secured by a lock, not a rubber band.
4. The toilet bowl should be a regulation model, not a bucket. And despite its disposal power, users should be warned that it’s virtually impossible to flush a thong.
5. Finally, the toilet area should be well lighted. I once washed my hands in a basin, and later discovered the restroom had no sink.

     Rix’s new Amazon Kindle e-book is now available for 99 cents. It’s a Thanksgiving-related humor title called Turkey’s Viewpoint. I hope you’ll buy it and read it…and then leave a review.