What makes reindeer fly & other things you always wanted to know

Published 12:00 am Wednesday, December 22, 2021

Greetings, residents of the River Parishes! Santa is coming to town in a few days. Everyone is so excited! There will be bonfires on the levee again to help guide the way… we even heard a rumor that there was going to be a giant crab that blows bubbles! This sounds wonderous! Santa and the reindeer can’t wait!
Children in St. John Parish sent Santa letters and they were enjoyed by one and all. Many of the youngsters sent questions, and I wanted to take this opportunity answer some of them.
• How do reindeer fly? Let’s start off by saying, not all reindeer fly. We have a very special breed that attend school, just like you do. Not only do they have to learn to listen and play nicely with each other, they learn to work as a team. Once they have mastered these skills, they learn the secret art of flying.
• Why can’t the elves be touched? Oh…that is a very good question. The elves are only given a certain amount of magic to get them back and forth to the North Pole. If they are touched, they lose that magic and may become stuck and it keeps them from going home. Imagine not being able to go home, especially with no change of clothes. They would miss their friends and, between us, the elves don’t like the Louisiana summer heat.
• Does Mrs. Claus help with the gifts? Well, no, Mrs. Claus does not help with the gifts. She takes care of other things such as helping the elves get ready to visit the children of the world. This is big responsibility, because one wrong move and the elf could have too much magic which causes naughty elves or too little magic and they can’t come home.
• Does Mrs. Claus cook and make cookies? Yes, she does, but she also has an executive chef, Marshmallow Crème. Monsieur Crème is a specialist serving healthy choices so that the entire North Pole crew stays in tip top shape. He is able to accomplish this with the help of the garden gnomes who grow most of our food. We have no restaurants, but we have a personal shopper Simon E. Nogg who ships everything else we need. However, Mrs. Claus has been known to make her famous Christmas Cookies, causing any scrooge to have holiday cheer!
Angel Cookies
Yield: 36 large cookies
1/2 cup butter
2 cup flour
1/2 cup shortening
1 teaspoon soda
1/2 cup brown sugar
1 teaspoon cream of tartar
1/2 cup white sugar
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 egg
1/2 cup walnuts
1 teaspoon vanilla
Cream butter, shortening, and sugars.
Add other ingredients in order given.
Roll into balls the size of a walnut or smaller.
Dip top in cold water and then sugar.
Place on greased cookie sheet.
Bake at 425f for 10 minutes.

• How do elves wrap complex gifts? We have a special machine that does this, the WRAPAROUND 9000. It was invented by my great grandfather Rupert D. McTinsel.
• How do Snowmen talk? This is a very rare occurrence and it only happens when there is a mixture of elf magic and Christmas spirit in extremely cold temperatures.
•How do elves become elves, and can I become an elf? The short answer is elves are born that way. Although you can’t be an elf, you can be an honorary elf simply by keeping Christmas in your heart, smiling and being kind to others. Regarding what jobs we are given, that happens at Elf College and Vocational Academy.
•What time does Santa leave? Santa leaves at 9 a.m. his time, but you can track his progress at www.noradsanta.org.
•How does Santa travel the entire world in one night? This was a tough one and we had to research it in a way that humans could understand. According to the noradsanta.org, Santa does not experience time the way people do. It’s believed he may be able to travel at the speed of light…and that is super-fast. Its faster than turning on your TV or your dog stealing your snack.

The last questions were really thought provoking.
•How do I get in the Christmas spirit? The North Pole receives reports all during the year and we understand that it has been a difficult one and that things are out of the ordinary. However, the spirit of Christmas comes from being with the ones you love and that love you. Showing kindness to others will go a long way to making you feel better. When doing for others you don’t have time to dwell on your problems. Having a kind word for someone may not mean anything to you, but it could make their world a whole lot better.
•I want a better life. This one really caught me off guard, but we have secret jolly agents in the field that tell us that this was not an uncommon request this year. We, at the North Pole, would like to tell you that this will not last. Things will get better. Now, this next part is a little bit grown-up but everyone has what are called life lessons. These are things that we experience and they teach us to grow and adapt. Learn the good and the bad and learn to know the difference. Why? Because you want to repeat the good things in your life and avoid doing the bad things. Without these life lessons, we are not able to appreciate the good things. The secret to having a better life is to know that life is what you make it. Surround yourself with positive, happy people. Be kind to others and yourself. Smile, show respect to all and have faith in a better tomorrow. You can find your way and remember it’s never wrong to ask for help. We all need a hand sometimes.

Thank you for all your letters and questions. To show our appreciation, L’OBSERVATEUR is running some of these letters in today’s paper. All of the letters will be available on lobservateur.com.

Ginger McTinsel is the Chief Elf Officer (CEO) of Santa Claus Enterprises, a wholly owned subsidiary of Kringle Worldwide Industries (NYSE: KWI). She has been with the company for 485 years and looks forward to retiring in another 165 years. She also currently serves at vice president in charge of candy canes and hot cocoa.