At one of the early morning men’s Bible sharing group that I attend, the topic was integrity and being real. Integrity – the state of being of sound moral principle, uprightness, honesty and sincerity. Being real means being genuine.

To promote the discussion, the moderator asked, “What keeps you from falling short of being a man of integrity and being real?”

The answer was simple. Sin is what keeps us from being the person God desires us to be.

One of the men at the meeting said that cursing was a big problem in his life. He shared with us that in confession one day he told the priest he had tried time and again to control his language but to no avail. After a short discussion, the priest said, “Maybe I could pray for you to have cancer of the tongue.” Evidently, this happened years ago, but he is still talking about the incident.

That story reminded me of my sinful living and my weekly trips to the confessional to get relief for a short time, knowing that after I would continue my anti-God behavior. I never really repented but continued to sin, mocking God.

Looking back, I went through a lot of trouble seeking temporary relief, knowing that in my own strength, it was impossible for me to change. When I went to confession, the local priest would sometimes call me by name, so I started going to different churches in the area. I even went to a Jesuit Church on Baronne Street in New Orleans. The fact that the priest didn’t know me made me comfortable, and some were even hard of hearing, which I didn’t mind at all.

Of all the times I went to confession, God spoke to me one day, loud and clear, through an old priest at the church on Baronne Street. He refused to give me absolution because he didn’t feel that I had remorse for my sins. I told him that he had to give me absolution. He said, “No, I don’t,” and he politely closed the opening between us.

That happened many years ago, but I’m still reminded of that day and am thankful that God got my attention.

Today, I realize that confessing our sins is of no value unless we are willing to repent and change our ways. As a Christian, I still fall short and confess directly to God, knowing that I can fool man, but not God. He knows my heart.

After that meeting, I realize that I still have a long way to go to be real and a man of integrity.

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