Letter for a grieving father

Published 12:00 am Wednesday, October 6, 2004

Get High on Life

Harold Keller

Two weeks ago, after sharing at a drug rehabilitation center, we all formed a circle and sang “Amazing Grace.” The session went well, and the spirit we all enjoyed was a joyous one.

After the meeting, one of the clients approached me with sadness in his eyes and said that it was a good meeting. He also said that the last time he heard “Amazing Grace” was last year at the funeral of two of his children.

With tears in his eyes, he continued and told me that they were killed in an automobile accident. “My son would have been 16 years old on Sept. 16,” he said. I tried to console him but didn’t do a very good job.

He then said that he had a 6-year-old daughter. I challenged him not to neglect his daughter in his grief. “She needs a daddy now, more than ever.”

This past Saturday, he showed me a letter that his counselors suggested he write to his son as an exercise to ease his pain. With his permission, I will share parts of that letter:

“Dear son,

Hello. There is so much that I wanted to tell yhou and there was so little time.

First off, I would like to tell you that I’m very sorry for not being there for you like I should have been. There were so many times when you asked me to do things with you, like play ball, go fishing, ride bikes together, and all I could do was push you away so I could do my drugs.

Son, I hope you can forgive me. I’m sorry for letting you go to the store and steal food so you could feed your sister and yourself. I didn’t let you be a kid. Instead, you became the adult, and you took care of your sister and me when I should have been taking care of you.

I’m sorry for the times I got mad at you and whipped you for no reason. I just wish you were here to forgive me.

I am now trying to get my life together. I never told you I was proud of you, but I was. Again, please forgive me.

May you rest in peace,

Your dad”

I’m sure this letter will ease the pain of a grieving dad. My intention for printing this lette is that other fathers who may be on the wrong track might decide to make a U-turn before it’s too late.

HAROLD KELLER writes this column as part of his affiliation with the Get High on Life religious motivational organization. Call 652-8477 or write to P.O. Drawer U, Reserve, LA 70084.