Lee Dresselhaus / L’Observateur / November 29, 2000

So…will it never end? This whole election thing has taken on a life of itsown. It occupies every niche and corner of the media all the time, and hasmanaged to drag us along as winds its way through the electoral process and now, the courts.

So I’ve decided to do something different. Yep. Since every journalist andcolumnist out there who can string three words together is writing about this issue, I’ve decided I won’t participate. I’m going to keep myself out of themix. I just won’t jump on the bandwagon.Because I’ve already mentioned this in a previous column I won’t write about how amazing it is that thousands of people in Florida didn’t have the sense to punch the right hole on their ballots when they voted because either A) they didn’t read the directions which were clear and should have been understandable by anyone whose knuckles don’t drag when they walk. Or, B)they stood out in the sun down there in the Sunshine State way, way too long.

I won’t write about the fact that right now, this very moment, there are people doing hand recounts of ballots and they are actually holding them up to the light and squinting at them, trying to determine if a dimple in the ballot reflects the intention of the voter or not. I won’t bring up the factthat, had their intention been to cast a ballot one way or another and if they wanted their vote to count they should have made sure they punched the darn thing correctly in the first place. And I won’t mention the fact that,once again, we have managed to place blame on anyone and anything other than where it should be placed, and that’s with the idiot who didn’t utilize the ballot the way it should have been utilized.

There is no way I’ll bring up the issue of the dangling chads and the fact that at least one of the hand re-counters was observed eating them, for whatever reason. I won’t bring that up because it makes me just a bit uneasyto think that the future of America and, indeed, the world may hinge on some moron who is recounting ballots and eating parts of them at the same time.

Give that some thought for just a second and see if it doesn’t make you cringe just a bit.

I won’t bring Jesse Jackson and his posturing into this at all. ColumnistGeorge Will called him a “rented ranter,” which I thought was a pretty good description of him. And the Washington Post actually came right out andbasically said that Jackson was stirring racial passions in the issue when he should just shut up. So, since other people have already taken him to taskover being a trouble-seeking, self-interested, self-appointed demagogue who goes from place to place blaming every little thing in life that doesn’t suit him on racism, I won’t have to write about that this week, either. Good thing,too, since I have some strong opinions about that posturing nincompoop, opinions that may well reach far into the realm of the politically incorrect.

Can’t have that, now, can we? Another thing that I’ve decided not to write about this week is the fact that the sycophants, hangers-on, and parasites that are collectively known as the Gore Campaign are being quite shrill about this whole thing. Maybe it’s just mebut the way I see it is that, all – or most – of those people stand to get really juicy jobs if they manage to manipulate a victory out of this. So, naturally,they’re prepared to do whatever it takes and if that includes howling about the “disenfranchisement” of voters, maneuvering and manipulating the largely liberal media, or even coming right out and lying, well, so be it. Theirphilosophy jibes well with the old slogan of the Oakland Raiders. Just win,baby. Even if it means recounting those ballots until they fall apart. Countthem enough and you’ll eventually end up with the total you want. Like I said,just win, baby. They’re annoying and transparent so I won’t write about themthis week.

And finally, there is something else in the political picture other than the Florida debacle that I won’t write about since I’ve already covered it in a previous column, and that’s the fact that the people of New York actually elected Hillary Clinton into the Senate, thus ensuring us of several more years of Clintonesque antics. My recommendation of that previous columnstill stands, though. I said that if New Yorkers elected Hillary to the Senate,they should change their state nickname to “The Gullible State.” I can see itnow. Interstate billboards at the state line that say, “Welcome to New York,The Gullible State.” But, I’ve already covered that, so I won’t mention howunbelievable it is that they fell for her act.

Well, anyway, all that stuff has been covered already, either by me or others. I wonder what I’ll do for a column this week?

LEE DRESSELHAUS writes this column every Wednesday for L’Observateur.

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