Lee Dresselhaus / L’Observateur / August 9, 2000

So…before I get too far into this thing let me just say this. I don’t get it,but P.T. Barnum was right.Once in a while something so absurd that it makes the ridiculous look normal comes along and people eat it up. There’s no explanation for someof the things that make their way into the hit parade of our pop culture.

Rap music, political correctness, “Gilligan’s Island,” “The Rocky Horror Picture Show,” and Trent Lott are among some of the more unexplainable phenomenon that have at one time or another shoved themselves down the throats of an unsuspecting public.

Our desire for the unusual, the odd, or the just plain weird can be traced back as far as history will allow. There was the Roman Coliseum, andmore recently, the traveling circus with its sideshows that included the bearded lady, wrestling dwarfs, and Jo-Jo the Dog-Faced Boy. At somepoint in time, someone discovered that people will pay for the privilege of being revolted, thrilled, or amused. Or a combination of all three. P.T.Barnum said it best when he said, “There’s a sucker born every minute.”Well, with apologies to old P.T., I would like to take this opportunity tointroduce, in his fashion, the latest in our equivalent of the modern traveling circus sideshow.

And now, ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce to you, in the center ring, “Survivor!” OK, I know. I’ve written about the absurdity of those reality-based TVshows before. I don’t like them for much the same reason I don’t like mostgame shows. I don’t enjoy watching people make fools of themselves formoney. We all do enough of that at out daily jobs, so I don’t get off on thepublic displays of greed that are the basis for most of those shows. But Ihave to admit, this one surprised me. Not that it’s any better than Ithought it would be because it’s not. What surprises me is that it’s arunaway hit.

Over 25 million people a week are watching this thing. They aremesmerized each week and wait with anticipation as, one by one, the folks on that island are voted off by their fellow castaways. The end prize forthe one left standing is a cool one million dollars. That’s a lot ofmotivation to shaft your fellow man – or woman.

Each week someone gets voted off the island. In a weird little ceremonyhis or her torch is extinguished and he or she leaves the island, sans money, and with the sure knowledge that he or she was not the popular kid in that particular class. We’re treated to a view of their backs as theymake their way down a darkened path, away from the festivities of their erstwhile associates. Personally, I think it would add a lot to the show ifwhen they were voted out they would be thrown into a wood chipper right then and there. Now THAT’S entertainment! Most of them are annoyinganyway.

Sigh.

But that’s not gonna happen, as much as the idea has a certain charm. We’llwatch as they gradually consume each other until one is left. Just for therecord, I’m voting for the cantankerous old retired Navy Seal, Rudy. At 72,I think he deserves the money just for putting up with the adolescent antics of some of the idiots he’s sharing the island with.

Not surprisingly, a cottage industry has sprung up around the show. Youcan now buy “Survivor” merchandise on the internet. There’s even a”Survivor” newsletter. Yep. Old P.T. would be proud of the folks whopromoted this one. They took what he said about suckers to heart. In fact,I’d lay odds that at least one of them has that slogan on a plaque somewhere.

And in the spirit of P.T. Barnum, “Playboy” magazine, with their ever-sharp eye for a hot commercial property, has offered Jenna, who we saw go quietly into the night a couple of weeks ago, a half-million dollars to pose nude for them. She wants more and they are reportedly going to offerher more. Is she that hot? No. But she was in the living room of 25 millionAmericans every week until she bit the dust, so the magazine will do well if they get her to pose. They’ll pay. She’ll pose. I would. Speaking of “Survivor” merchandise, did you know that Jenna’s pink bikini, the one she wore each week, will be going up for sale as well? I don’t even want to think about who would buy something like that. Or why they wouldbuy it. Yeesh. Somewhere out there P.T. Barnum is really, really enjoying this. Okay. I’ve decided that I’ve chosen the wrong career. I’m going to start myown game show, like “Survivor,” only I’ll have it take place somewhere north of the Arctic Circle. There won’t be any bikinis or any weirdoswading naked on camera. But I’ll bet I can still get an audience. Anybody got a wood chipper I can borrow?

LEE DRESSELHAUS writes this column every Wednesday for L’Observateur.

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