Anna Monica / L’Observateur / May 9, 2000

Sunday is Mother’s Day. It is a busy and important day. But what I amthinking about this week is not just the “real” moms of the world, but of the rest of us women who are not mothers and love children just the same.

For instance, I think about myself, a single woman with a bunch of nieces and nephews, mostly nephews, as well as grandnieces and grandnephews. Thepride I feel in their achievements or ambitions, the frustrations I feel in their disappointments and failings, the concern I feel for their health and the love I have for them cannot be a whole lot less than what their own mothers feel for them.

I can tell you I am often rewarded for my involvement with them when they do things for me, such as walk with me last Saturday in the cancer Relay for Life event. That is a tremendous payoff. They would do the same thing fortheir mothers, but this time they did it for their aunt, bringing their girlfriends and boyfriends with them, and it meant so much to me. Theirlove, affection and help are always there for me, too, very much like it would be for their moms.

Women who are not mothers can and do play a very important role in the lives of children who are not their own whether related or not. You don’t haveto be related to them to love children. We have the desire to nurture, guideand protect, too. There are probably many childless women out there whohave made a tremendous difference in the lives of other people’s children and expect and get no credit for it. Nonetheless, we keep being there forthem and it is our pleasure to see them go through puberty and into adulthood, just like their mothers do. Ask any woman without children andyou will no doubt find that all of us are involved in the lives of children somewhere and are very much interested in their boyfriends, girlfriends, proms, graduations, college or work choices, and so on.

Jackie Cupit is a single woman like me who really indulges, sits with and gets so much pleasure out of her nieces and nephews. When Stephen’s four wereyounger, they, like Drew’s seven do now, spent a lot of time at her house.

Going to movies, sleepovers, playing games and cards have been and are part of their normal routine. Stephen’s kids went with Jackie on trips before theygrew up and produced 10 grandchildren and Jackie is there for the grandnieces and grandnephews, too. Drew’s younger crowd still keep her instep, and Kelly got to enjoy a shopping trip to Dallas with her aunt. In manyways, Jackie feels like a surrogate grandmother and knows she is happy and fortunate to share in the lives of these young people.

My friend, Elaine Gaille, is a married woman who has no children of her own.

She has suffered through the loss of her only nephew, but delights so much in her love for her five nieces. She has been taking frequent flights toMaryland to see her youngest niece, Noel, and is eagerly awaiting that family’s move to this area. Spending time with the offspring of her siblings isimportant to her and having been a teacher, once, she always has a concern for young people.

There are some of us who will never be moms, some who hope to be moms, some who were once moms, and some who don’t necessarily desire to be moms, but we all love to share children in some way. Therefore, we need tothank you real moms – thank you for sharing your children with us; letting us keep company with them, being proud of them, spoiling them a little, being part of their activities and their lives. Most of all, moms, thank you for yourunselfishness in letting your children love us back. From me, thank youPhyllis, Linda, Cookie, Frankie and Maria.

Happy Mother’s Day to all you moms, my mom and the rest of us.

Anna Monica is a regular columnist for L’Observateur.

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