Harold Keller / L’Observateur / April 18, 2000

In 1987, I was speaking to the fourth graders at an elementary school outside the River Parishes. One little girl got my attention and, during thepresentation, I knelt by her desk and asked, “If you had one wish, what would it be?” She started crying and answered, “I wish my daddy would come back home.”I remember that day like it was yesterday. I found out that her dad hadjust left home and wanted a divorce. I never forgot the hurt in that littlegirl’s heart.

She wrote me a letter and I later met her mother and younger sister. Wekept in touch from that time – throughout her high school years.

I hadn’t heard from my friend in probably six years, until a few weeks ago when I received an invitation to her wedding.

I called her mother and found out that this young girl was now working in Baton Rouge and was an LSU graduate. In the course of our conversation, Iinquired about her ex-husband. She told me that he is not married, but haslived with two other women and has fathered children from each. She alsohas not remarried and has devoted her life to working and raising her two daughters.

Over the years, I understand that many times he had disappointed his two daughters that he deserted – making promises for birthdays and other special occasions, and the majority of the times, breaking the promises.

At the wedding, I was a little surprised to see the bride walk down the aisle with her faithful, dedicated mother on her left and her father, who deserted her when she was only nine, on her right. Her mother walked witha grateful, humblel spirit. Her father, on the other hand, walked with asmuch false pride as any man I’ve ever seen.

I have to admit that I resented the air of arrogance the father had. I alsoquestioned how this young girl could be so forgiving to an unfaithful, selfish father. I then realized what the three people represented.We are all created to love and serve God and send a message to other people. The message can be positive or negative. The mother’s messagewas that of a dedicated, loving mother who gave her all to be a positive example for her two children. The father – a negative message ofselfishness and irresponsibility, as much as I’ve ever seen in an individual. The bride’s message was that she was not going to letunforgiveness or resentments rob her of the joy of one of the most sacred and exciting events of her life.

It never ceases to amaze me how children will love their fathers unconditioinally, regardless of how they are treated. The father, althoughundeserving, was where he should have been for the past 13 years – at his daughter’s side.

As the couple repeated their marriage vows to honor, respect and stay together for the rest of their lives, I wondered what went through her father’s mind.

Harold Keller is a regular columnist for L’Observateur

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