Harold Keller / L’Observateur / April 11, 2000

I received the following letter after my article about Elian Gonzalez appeared in this newspaper last week. My consensus was that Elian shouldbe allowed to stay in America and not be turned over to his father and a life in Cuba.

“Dear Mr. Keller:I read your article last night. So, let me be sure I’ve got this right. If afather is bad, it is OK to take the kids away to greener pastures. Becausethe only reason I have stayed with my husband is because I feel there is no one who can replace him in my children’s life, even though he has not been the perfect father, provider or husband.

I think about my own father and you. You and he were both alcoholics, andhad someone investigated, a case could probably have been made that both of you were unfit at times. Yet, if someone had tried to take me from mydad, or your children from you, they would have had to drag us away kicking and screaming.

If Elain’s father is truly unfit, of course I don’t believe his life should be endangered again. That, however, would have to be proven without anydoubt. The bond between a father and child is precious and irreplaceable.No one else can fill that void. No uncle or relative, freer or richer, or evennicer, can love a child with more depth than a child’s own daddy.

I would be the first person to say the failure of the family has been caused by weak fathers and men, but I would never go as far as saying fathers are dispensable. I don’t believe you feel that way either.Respectfully disagreeing, I remain, “Name Withheld”

Dear Name Withheld, Thanks for reminding me of what I used to be. It makes me grateful for thegrace of God and His miracle of a changed life. The only reason that mywife and I stayed together is because of her faith in God and her prayers to Him to change me.

I agree my children loved me in spite of my shortcomings. You mentionedthat a bond between a father and child is precious and irreplaceable. Idisagree with that statement. The relationship between a father and childcould be, and should be, precious and irreplaceable but believe me, sometimes it isn’t. In fact, some fathers completely destroy families. Onthe other hand, a godly father who is the priest, provider and protector is irreplaceable.

I do agree that the failure of the family is caused by weak, ungodly men who become fathers. I also agree that we can disagree.Regardless of what you and I think, Elian will be reunited with his dad, perhaps by the time this article is printed. He may go back to Cuba and liveunder the dictatorial rule of a madman, Castro. However, the perfectoutcome after their reunion would be for his father to decide to stay in America – one nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.

I pray that God will heal your marriage as He did mine.

Harold Keller is a regular columnist for L’Observateur

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