Lee Dresselhaus / L’Observateur / March 22, 2000

So…I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. As a society our prioritiesare all screwed up. Period. And I have a fine example of just what I’mraving about this week.

A story on CNN about a case of road rage carried to the extreme has caught my attention. It seems that a woman in San Jose, California wasunfortunate enough to bump into the rear of a man’s Ford Explorer.

Now, this in itself is really not unusual, especially in traffic dense California, or anywhere for that matter. Some idiot who isn’t payingattention is always bumping into the rear of some else’s car. In this case,fortunately, there wasn’t much damage done.

However, in this case it was very unfortunate that the bumpee was apparently having a bad day. In anger he approached the bumper’s car. The bumper, a woman named Sara McBurnett, was apparently so flustered by the whole thing that she then again bumped into the rear of the bumpee’s Explorer.

As the bumpee approached her car, Sara McBurnett rolled down her window to try to explain why she was a non-driving gumby who just bumped the bumpee. Twice. It was at that moment in time that one of the great crimes of this century occurred. Bear in mind that this century was only a bit over two monthsold at the time but, never mind. Anyway, as the angry bumpee approachedthe bumper’s car, Leo became tragically involved.

Leo is – was – a 10-year-old Bichon Fris, and bosom companion to Sara McBurnett, Non-Driver and Gumby. For those of you out there who like mehave remained blissfully ignorant of just what a Bichon Fris is, I’ll enlighten you so that you may join me in this knowledge. It’s what I call aWhy? dog.

It’s one of those odd little breeds of dogs you look at and say, Why? What in the Wide Wide World of Genetic Manipulation is THAT? Why? Leo is, oops, WAS, a cuddly little white ball of fur that resembled a stuffed toy. Leo, it seems, was also mistake-prone. Because Leo made themistake of jumping into Sara Burnett’s lap just as she rolled the window down to explain to the angry bumpee why she had hit his car. Twice.Life is all about timing, you know. I say that because because had Leo notchosen that particular moment to add his two cents, I’m sure that it wouldn’t have occurred to the bumpee to reach in and grab Leo, then hurl Leo into traffic three lanes over.

Leo was immediately and efficiently rubbed out at that moment. Thebumpee then left, leaving the now Leo-less Sara McBurnett there in a state of shock.

That’s awful, right? Of course it is. I don’t condone cruelty to any kind ofanimals, except maybe the Beastie Boys and Rage Against The Machine, but with the garbage they call music and their weird little political tirades they deserve anything they get.

Anyway, cruelty to animals is wrong in most other cases, even to Why? dogs. I have a friend who detests Why? dogs and says that if a dog leavesthe ground when you kick it it’s too small to have anyway. He has issues. In this case the cruelty is blatant, and it’s a crime. But here is myproblem, and why I say we live in a screwed-up society.

As of last week the reward for locating the bumpee, henceforth known as the Leo-tosser, was over $40,000. That’s right. Let me spell that out.FORTY THOUSAND DOLLARS.

Right now, in this society, someone could set fire to your grandmother and there wouldn’t be a $40,000 reward offered for their capture. Rapists,arsonists, and child molesters don’t have rewards posted for them like this.

In Independence, Mo. a few weeks ago a 6-year-old boy was dragged todeath when a sub-human animal decided to steal his mother’s car.

The child was tangled in the seat belt when this creature pushed him out of the car and died horribly, being dragged alongside and underneath the car as the thief sped away.

And, you know what? That story got less network and newspaper coverage than the story of the Leo-tosser, at least that I or my friends saw. Somecitizens caught the guy who dragged the kid to death, so no reward was necessary but, you know what else? I’d bet the farm if I had one that, if the animal had escaped, there would have been nothing like a $40,000 reward for his capture.

Let me put a small disclaimer in here so that all the animal rights weirdos out there don’t get their hackles up. They’re just SO sensitive.Cruelty to animals is wrong. Period. End of story. And the Leo-tossersneeds to identified and caught.

But I have a message for all of you who sent reward money in for that purpose.

How about getting your priorities straight?

LEE DRESSELHAUS writes this column every Wednesday in L’Observateur.

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