LEE DRESSELHAUS / L’Observateur / March 1, 2000

So.ya know, some people just make it too easy. First, there was the insipid, stupid little game show called “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.” This was followed by several clones like “Greed,” and a coupleof other less than inspiring pieces of garbage which, even by TV standards, really, really stink. Since I’ve already slammed, er, covered those in aprevious column, I’m repeating myself here just as a point of reference.

But now, I’m pleased to say, television has outdone itself.

Fox TV’s “Who Wants To Marry A Millionaire?” simply has to be the very finest example of ratings-grabbing, dignity-stealing, checkbook-pimping television garbage in the history of the media.

I know I shouldn’t beat around the bush when I speak of such things, so let me tell you how I really feel. But, first, I have a small twist to the wholething.

As I just stated, the show was questionable from the start. An unidentifiedmulti-millionaire watched as several dozen gold-digging beauties paraded themselves before him to so he could choose from among them his bride-to- be.

It’s kind of like a Sultan of old choosing a new girl for his harem, don’t you think? It was like the purchase of a bride. Well, it WAS the purchase of abride.

OK, I don’t have a problem with that so far. And just to set the recordstraight from the very beginning, neither do most men. What? You say youthink it’s just horrible that women would degrade themselves that way in an obvious attempt to get a rich husband? You think it’s just awful, right? You say that men just shouldn’t do something like that. You think it’s just sheerexploitation of American womanhood? Liar.

That may be the politically correct line guys like liberal journalists, actors, politicians, and married men when their wives are around, use when they discuss the show. Tsk, tsk, they say. That was just awful. But all thatposturing just doesn’t wash with me.

Give me a break.

Maybe I’m the only one to say it publicly, but there is hardly a man alive who, if it were permissible, wouldn’t jump at a chance to take his pick from 50 beautiful, skimpily-clad, eager to please women.

Why do you think that stupid show got the incredible ratings it did? It sure wasn’t because of the taste, quality, humor, drama, talent, or even the originality of the idea. The two things that fueled those ratings weregreed (on the part of women) and lust (on the part of us nasty ol’ men). Wecouldn’t wait to watch.

Like it or not boys and girls, those two little things right there make this old world go round and round. And that show proves just that like a bachelor’srefrigerator proves that mold can grow in the oddest places.

And now here’s that twist I spoke of earlier.

The winner of the contest, 34-year-old Californian Darva Conger, says she wants an annulment.

Yep, the woman who displayed herself like the rest of the gold-diggers in the contest now says that she was angered and embarrassed that the guy who got to do the choosing kissed her on the mouth following the televised wedding ceremony. That was after she had been chosen from among theother opportunists, er, contestants present. And she also says she hasChristian values and wouldn’t consider having a sexual relationship under circumstances like these. He should have kissed her on the cheek, she said. Well, guess what, Sparky? You entered that contest knowing full well what winning would mean. The contest wasn’t “Who Wants To Say Hello To AMillionaire?” It wasn’t “Who Wants to Hang Out And Be Buddies With A Millionaire?” Excuse me if I’m wrong, but I think the word MARRIED was in there somewhere, and pretty prominently displayed. And MARRIED generallyimplies some intimacy on the part of the involved couple. Did you miss thatpart when you entered the contest? Personally, I think it’s a bit late to start hollering about what kind of victim you are when you flat out went for an opportunity to be financially secure.

Also known as rich. And now, since you don’t like the guy who won you fairand square, you want to start hollering. Well, if you don’t want to get wet,stay out of the water. And besides, nobody forced her to say “yes” duringthe proposal part. Despite the resemblance to the Sultan’s market of old,she could have cried, “Whoa,” and walked away. She didn’t. She said, “Yes.”Excuse me, Miss Conger, but as they say in jolly old England, you’re a bit of an ass.

Now don’t get me wrong. Looking at this guy I’d have to say it’s no wonderhe’s single despite being a so-called millionaire. The term “Lone Gunman”comes to mind when I see him. I doubt he’s anybody’s Prince Charming. Andaccording to some reports, may even be a fake.

But she should have known that was a possibility when she entered that contest, shouldn’t she? The show should have been called, “Who Wants To Marry An Idiot?” And I have an answer.

Evidently, he does.

Copyright © 1998, Wick Communications, Inc.

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