Harold Keller / L’Observateur / October 30, 1999

I sometimes close my eyes and try to imagine what it would be like to be blind. No matter how hard I try, I can never relate to permanent physicaldarkness. Whenever I run across a person confined to a wheelchairpermanently, I try to relate to being crippled. Again, I can’t relate to lifein a wheelchair.

Last week, I met a man at a drug rehabilitation center confined to a wheelchair. He looked beaten and much older than his 44 years of age. Hisface projected that he was miserable, hopeless and tormented. Thewheelchair he occupied was old and really in bad shape.

Anytime I meet someone in a wheelchair, they get my attention. I askedhis name. “Earl,” was his reply. “Is this your first attempt to get offdrugs?” I asked. “No,” he said. “This is my 10th drug treatment center.””It seems like the last nine didn’t work,” I replied. He had no reaction tomy statement.

“How long have you been confined to a wheelchair?” I, curious, asked. “Gotin a car wreck,” he replied. “Two people in the back seat with me gotkilled. One woman’s head was decapitated.” (I could still feel his pain.)”Do you feel any guilt for the accident?” “Even though I wasn’t driving, yes, I have some guilt.””Do you believe in God?” I asked. “Yes, very much,” was his answer. “May Iremind you that Jesus gave His life so that we might be set free from all guilt and have a peace that surpasses all undertanding.” “Your problem,” Isaid, with authority and boldness, “is that you refuse to forgive yourself.

If you don’t do that, I can assure you that you will never be free and have peace. I can also guarantee that you will continue to use drugs to ease thepain of your guilt.””By the way,” I continued, “you said that you believe in God. My question toyou, and I promise this will be my last, is if you had died in the accident, would you have gone to heaven or hell?” Without any hesitation, he put his head down and said, “Hell.” I then said, “God evidently has a better planfor your life. He’s given you a second chance. His reason may be for you togo to many more treatment centers, drug-free, just to give your testimony about the mercy and grace of God.”No I still cannot relate to being physically crippled or blind, but I certainly can relate to being spiritually crippled and blinded from the truth of God’s Will for my life.

Harold Keller is a regular columnist for L’Observateur.

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