MICHAEL KIRAL / L’Observateur / June 5, 1999

The new Nike commercial has Atlanta pitchers Greg Maddux and Tom Glavine standing around during batting practice, watching a number of young women watch Mark McGwire knock a few out of the ball park.

“Chicks dig the long ball,” Maddux tells Glavine.

Now I know why the batters I faced in Little League had so many girlfriends.

My Little League career can be compared to what Bob Uecker said about his career when he noted the highlight of it was walking with the bases loaded to drive in the winning run in an intrasquad game in spring training.

My baseball career made me what I am today – a sportswriter.

It was 10 years ago this month that I quit playing baseball to get my first job at Winn-Dixie, a move that was widely applauded at Johnny Bright Playground in Metairie. I had many a coach who wanted to retire myuniform – with me in it.

I have been compared to a couple of Hall-of-Famers, however. I had thespeed of Ernie Lombardi, the hitting ability of Sandy Koufax and the pitching ability of Lefty O’Doul. Of course, Lombardi was one of theslowest players to ever play the game, Koufax once went hitless in 70 at- bats during a season and O’Doul was shelled in first and only game as a pitcher before becoming one of the best hitters in the 1920s.

I had underrated speed when I played. I was actually slower than mostpeople thought. My dad was the third base coach the day I tried to stretcha double into a triple and was out by slightly more than a day. I stillbelieve I beat the tag. Of course, I also still believe Clinton when he says”I did not have relations with that woman.”I had the distinction of playing every position during my seven-year career. Some would say that was because my coaches were trying to find aspot where a ball would not be hit my way.

I even caught one game. One game because in that game I caught a 10-year-old version of Nolan Ryan and then got nailed on a play at the plate. Inhockey, the term is “one-timer.” I decided then and there I would only playpositions located in fair territory.

Actually, I was a pretty good fielder. I was one of those good-field, no-way in the world he’s going to get a hit players. I also had a good arm backthen and my fondest moment of my career was throwing out the tying run at the plate in the last inning against Girard playground. Notice I did notsay I had an accurate arm. I also threw a ball over the backstop from leftfield and nailed an umpire on a warm-up throw between innings.

Then there was my pitching career, a mutually exclusive term if there ever was one. I didn’t have a Cy Young fastball. It was more like a SeanYoung fastball. It looked good – at least to the hitters. I threw one change-up – Jimmy Green changed it into a different time zone. That was one hit so far that had it been a airline flight, you wouldhave been able to smoke on it.

Speaking of airlines, they had one of those machines where you can buy insurance in the dugout for my infielders. Our outfielders didn’t runsprints before the game. They just let me pitch batting practice. They gotall the running they needed.

I was very fortunate during my career, however. I played on some verysuccessful teams and had a number of very talented teammates and excellent coaches. And my career prepared me for what I do today – sittingon a bench and watching ball games. I had a lot of practice.

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