By Leonard Gray / L’Observateur / October 26, 1998

When Andy Rooney retires, I want his job.

I can discuss my messy desk, my messy garage and the disturbing experience of driving as well as he can. I can view the current politicalscene or weirdness from Hollywood or New York as easily as he.

But if I make my move too soon, I could lose out. After all, there must be ahost of other wanna-be-Andys out there, waiting for the old coot to leave and clear the way for the younger coot. I just think I’m as good a coot asanyone.

Paper clips are a wonderful invention, as are sticky-pads. I just hopethose inventors made a ton of money and I wish I had thought of them first. Don’t you just hate it when people talk about how they’re tired ofClinton but the polls continue to say he’s gaining? Drivers only seem to be getting more angry on the highways. Don’t you wish they’d cut out free-agency, so we can have team loyalty again? See? I can babble on about the inconsequentials of life just as good as Andy.

Give me a chance.

Leonard Gray is a reporter for L’Observateur

Copyright © 1998, Wick Communications, Inc.

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